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How to Write a Great Online Dating Profile
Online dating can be a great way to meet people, but it can also be very frustrating. Many people write profiles and get few responses—or none at all. Or perhaps they get lots of responses, but none of them seem to match what they’re looking for.
What’s the problem? When you’re writing a profile for an online dating website, you need to remember one important thing: it’s an advertisement. It’s kind of creepy to think of yourself as a product that’s being advertised, but essentially, that’s what you’re doing.
And as anybody who works in the advertising industry will tell you, it’s difficult to write an ad that gets people’s attention. People see thousands of ads everyday, so if yours doesn’t get people’s attention immediately, they’ll ignore it. The same thing goes with online dating profiles. A person who is scanning profiles isn’t going to read beyond the first few lines unless they are inspired to do so.
So how do you write an effective online dating profile that gets people’s attention and attracts the kind of people you really want to meet? Here are some DOs and DON’Ts to keep in mind.
• DO make your ad unique. Look at a page full of online dating profiles, and you’ll notice how many of them sound exactly the same.
It seems that everybody likes to look at sunsets and hold hands, and that every woman out there looks great in both jeans and a cocktail dress! If your ad sounds like everybody else’s, why would anybody choose yours? Instead, think of ways that you are unique and interesting, and describe those in your ad. Ideally, your ad should be about you and only about you, and no other person should be able to use your ad to describe himself or herself.
• DO tell stories about yourself instead of relying on adjectives. Instead of describing yourself as “active, ” write, “I’ve gone rafting on the fastest rapids in the U.S.” Instead of describing yourself as thoughtful, write, “I’m the kind of person who remembers to send a card on people’s birthdays.”
• DO think of a unique headline. Be funny or creative. Get someone to help you if you can’t think of anything. Remember, if you don’t make a good first impression, your ad won’t get read.
• DON’T say, “I can’t believe I’m writing this ad.” This is not very creative, and it demonstrates a lack of self-confidence.
• DON’T be modest. No, you don’t want to brag, but don’t be afraid to discuss your accomplishments and your strong qualities.
Remember, it’s an ad.
• DON’T be negative. Talk about what you do like, not what you don’t like, especially when you’re describing your ideal partner. Instead of saying, ‘I hate women who shop all the time,” say, “I love women who like to spend their time outdoors.”
• DO be yourself. Of course, you don’t want to describe things about yourself that aren’t flattering, like your fascination with earwax. But don’t try to hide things that are important to you, or you’ll attract the wrong people. If you’re an independent woman with a Ph.D., why hide it? You wouldn’t want to date a man who’s turned off by this. If you have kids, mention how much you love them. You wouldn’t want to date someone who doesn’t like kids.
• DON’T focus on what you want your partner to look like. This will make you look shallow. Men, this especially goes for you. Almost all women are insecure about their looks, even if they’re gorgeous, so women don’t want a partner who’s obsessed with appearance. And if a woman sees an ad that says “no fatties,” she’s going to think the author is a pig.
• DON’T talk about your ex’s. Ever. In fact, don’t say much about your ex’s on your first few dates either. That’s a huge turn-off, especially if you have negative things to say about them.
• DO proofread carefully. Your words need to look as nice as your picture.
• DON’T give up. Looking for the right person can take months or even years. Try to meet as many people as you can until that one special person comes along.
Remember, writing an appealing profile is not easy. Take the time to do it right, and experiment with some different profiles to see what works for you. Best of luck in your search for love!
My blog: The Best Dating and Marriage blog
