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Divorce Myths: A Matter of Perception
Nature of Myth: The Gestalt school of social psychology argues that myths are problematic in nature. They tend to bring forth views and ideas, which are not realistic. Hence, it can be said that myths are often generated to suit one's purpose and need.
Myths are a figment of imagination and perception. Myths tend to favour the female gender. Myths often find themselves in favour of women. This suits male-dominated society. It is hard for men to accept that they are the wrong-doers. Divorce issues favour women as they are the weaker gender. Women are supposed to be protected. It does not matter if these perpetuated myths are untrue.
They suit the ego of a male dominated society. Myths give males a target to blame for all wrongs in marital life. But some myths are true. There is concrete evidence to show that this bias does exist.
The Myths
Divorce is Initiated More by Men than Women: This myth actually states that men commit more marital mistakes than women. They are more prone to leaving the spouse. The myth perhaps was true in ancient society. But in modern liberated society, where both genders are equal, this myth is baseless.
Women and men are educated. They have the cognitive capacity to decide whether they want to remain in the marriage. They can decide whether the marriage is personally satisfying. Men and women have the right and opportunity to walk out of a bad unfulfilling marriage.
The modifications to the Matrimonial Act of 1857 saw the UK family law becoming more open. It gave women the right to divorce on innumerable grounds. This gave women the legal reasons and rights to file for divorce.
Social psychologists argue that men and women seek happiness and freedom to pursue personal interest. Both genders have equal rights to freedom and health. Men do not have the prerogative to be more happy and free. A study shows that 43% of men filed for divorce in 2003 as compared to 62% of women.
This merely proves that the status quo of divorce is changing. Women are seeking fulfilment of emotional, cognitive and physical desires. They have the freedom to choose between marriage and freedom. They have the right to decide whether marital sacrifices are more important than individual happiness.
Women Benefit More Financially from Divorce than Men: This myth used to be true in the 1980s. But, today, UK family courts see which party is financially weaker in status. Thus, the determinant of financial benefit has changed.
It does not matter whether the beneficiary is the wife or the husband. Usually, financial considerations are determined by the following factors:
· Does the spouse in question have personal income?
· Is the spouse receiving personal income at the time of divorce?
· Is there a prenuptial agreement?
· Who is the primary caretaker of the child? Which spouse has been assigned child custody?
· Will the custodial parent lose out on any pension benefits? Will the divorce make the spouse exempt from pension benefits?
Divorce Judgements Favour Women: A landmark ruling in 2005 has shattered this popular myth. A father was accorded child custody and full financial benefits. In the 1990s UK courts used to make divorce judgements based on the concept of traditional gender roles.
This saw the courts often pass judgements favouring women. But since 2000, divorce judgements are made on the basis of their merit. This means that the court now favours a fair but not necessarily equal distribution of wealth and marital assets during a divorce. Similarly, a child's interests are kept in mind when making a custody decision. Above all, divorce judgements are ruled by the principle of happiness.
The court decides rulings based on:
· Fair distribution of all marital property
· Who are the petitioner and respondent?
· Burden of proof against respondent and petitioner
· The child's choice -- whom does the child want to stay with?
But in the end, all divorce judgements are subjective and influenced by one's own personality. Men and women seek divorce. Divorce has to be argued for by both parties. One party cannot argue it. It does not matter who initiates it. The other party has to argue the petition and then only the divorce can proceed.
