It Is Just Me, or People Getting Ruder?
Iâ??ve been wondering this for a while and have been dying to ask my business colleagues and friends. But whenever Iâ??m get ready to pop the question, I manage to convince myself that itâ??s silly, reveals my cynical nature (or advance years!) and is probably just a figment of my jaded imaginationâ?¦ certainly not worthy of intelligent discussion.
The question, however, continued to reside nervously on the tip of my tongue, eager to fly out (particularly just after leaving my apparently mute colleague a fourth voice mail message). But it wasnâ??t until I read Keith Ferrazziâ??s masterful book, â??Never Eat Aloneâ?? that I summoned the courage to thunderously and openly inquire, â??Are people, particularly those in business, much ruder than they use to be?â??
Andâ?¦ â??Have we become so numb to it that we actually expect - and worst yet, accept it as normal and okay?â??
I think yes. I hope Iâ??m wrong.
Let me, however, step back a bitâ?¦ Why did Ferrazziâ??s book serve as my catalyst?
The short answer is that itâ??s just plain good. It is a brilliantly written book â?? simple without being simplistic â?? in the same league as Dale Carnegieâ??s classic â??How to Win Friends and Influence People.â?? And in an age when everyone seems to be a marketing, internet or personal motivation coach itâ??s refreshing to read something so balanced and genuinely inspired. Most importantly, however, Ferrazzi reminds us that weâ??re not in this alone - people make business happen!
He reiterates what some of us already know. Weâ??re all better off â?? emotionally, financially, and physically â?? when we take the time to build thoughtful, intimate (not in the â??biblicalâ?? sense :>) and sincere relationships with others. Ferrazzi says that while our personal styles and levels of openness should be adjusted as appropriate, making strong human connections is essential to our well being. I couldnâ??t agree more! This is, after all, what itâ??s all about â?? and long overdue advice. Thanks, Keith!
But then it occurred to me. How can you develop relationships with people when they donâ??t call, email, or show up â?? even when theyâ??ve promised to do so?!
And Iâ??m not referring about those little, unintentional slip-ups that happen to all of us occasionally - like when youâ??ve forgotten your Aunt Hildaâ??s birthday; or waited until the last minute to send in your wedding RSVP; or failed to send a thank-you note.
No, what Iâ??m talking about is far more baffling and egregious. Iâ??m referring to the friends who call you one day before your big dinner party and reiterate how much theyâ??re looking forward to seeing you - and then donâ??t show up â?? no explanation, no call, no nothing.
Or how about that real estate agent who promises to get back to you with a price no later than 2 pm, and you never hear from them again?
And what about that old friend or colleague who canâ??t wait to have lunch with you next Thursday and then doesnâ??t return your confirmation calls or emails?
Then thereâ??s my favoriteâ?¦ youâ??ve killed yourself to help someone get something â??urgentâ?? done (usually a boss or co-worker) and even managed to save the dayâ?¦ You email â??the documentâ?? before the deadline, sure that the recipient will be relieved and grateful. But you never find out. No â??thank youâ??. No â??way to goâ??. No nothing.
Or is it just me? Maybe soâ?¦
I was raised in a home where we were taught to treat everyone with the same amount of respect and kindness. Period. Behavior that didnâ??t measure up to this standard was not tolerated. We learned that the true measure of someoneâ??s character rested in their commitment to do the right thing - even when they didnâ??t have to.
For example, whenever I leave a hotel room, I wipe off the counters; gather my towels together in one convenient spot; turn off the television, lights and air conditioning; return the iron to the closet; and make sure that all my scraps of paper are where they belong â?? in the trash can.
Why? Because itâ??s just the right thing to do (and my mother would probably rise up out of her grave and kick my butt if I didnâ??t :>). Yes, hotels employ a cleaning staff who â??are paidâ?? to clean up after me, but why should they? Itâ??s my mess. I was responsible for making it, so I am responsible for cleaning it up â?? even if I donâ??t have to.
I have adopted my parentsâ?? code and although I sometimes fail, I continually strive to measure up to those standards.
But what does this look like in the â??real worldâ??? It means youâ?¦ 1. Return callsâ?¦ even if itâ??s only to say â??noâ??
2. Honor your commitmentsâ?¦ if you tell someone youâ??re going to do something, you do it. If you absolutely cannot, you let them know beforehand.
3. When youâ??re asked to RSVP, you do so
4. Say â??thank youâ?? and â??pleaseâ??â?¦ to strangers, friends, family members, waiters and waitresses, taxi drivers, colleagues, children, teenagersâ?¦ everyone.
5. Call when youâ??re going to be late
6. Return emails (unless itâ??s spam)
7. Welcome people into your homeâ?¦ do your best to make them feel comfortable and important
8. Clean up after yourself
9. Value other peopleâ??s privacy
10. Honor your parents
11. Respect elders
12. Chew gum quietly
13. Say â??excuse meâ?? when you burp
14. Open doors for others
15. Allow someone with only two items to move ahead of you in the grocery line
16. Respect other cultures, religions, ethnicities and the like.
17. Donâ??t push in front of someoneâ?¦ even if youâ??re in a car
18. Share your things
19. Donâ??t act like a pigâ?¦ even if itâ??s at an All-You-Can-Eat buffet
20. Donâ??t brag
21. Never litter
Are these rules a thing of the past? Passé in todayâ??s fast-paced culture? Old fashioned? Silly? Or am I just imagining things?
But if Iâ??m notâ?¦ why? Are we overloaded, overbooked and over committed? Has it become too easy to make excuses? Have we been forced into a â??every-man-for-himselfâ?? mindset? Did our parents and teachers fail us?
Or is it that we just donâ??t care because theyâ??re not important. What do you think?
About the Author
http://www.infozabout.comhttp://www.people.infozabout.com